To Wish
by paintypaintypaintpaint
Summary: "And when it's over, and it's gone... You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back... so that you could have the good."


_'Haly's Circus presents: The Flying Graysons!'_

However many years passed by, the posters and banners depicting several silhouettes souring above a faceless audience would still cause that same pain in his chest. Even now, as a young man, the image would cause agonizing flashbacks, muffled and distorted.  
It was unbearable when he was a child. When his memories were vivid and clear as if he was still atop the ladder staring down at the torn rope and lifeless figures. He had a lot of time to think before he became known as Robin: The Boy Wonder. The pain was more frequent back then.

Things started to change after he began working with The Batman. He was busier. Happier, even. And he made friends, too.

Wally West, or Kid Flash, was his best friend. He was so enthusiastic about everything. So cheerful, and it was contagious. It really was. So, as he grew along side his new best friend, he grew to share his traits.

He learnt things. He learnt that friendship was as strong a bond as family. He had always thought that without his parents and Mr. Haly and the rest of the performers who were like a family to him, he would have no one, and be nowhere. Now, he knows for sure that as long as there's someone willing to stand by him, he will be okay. He'll be fine. He will be...

_"I didn't want my best pal questioning my objective..."_

The night he became known as Nightwing was painful. Of course, as the stubborn teenager he was, he would have never admitted that at the time. But truly as soon as the mask was ripped from its comfortable place over his eyes, he felt naked. If Batman was really the 'Master Detective' that he claimed to be, he would have noticed the shaking hands as the cape was removed and tossed carelessly at his feet.

Carelessly?  
What a lie that was. Of course he cared. That cape represented all that he ever fought for. It represented his old circus days, and his family. The life that he had left behind. But he wasn't forgetting that life.  
He was moving on.

_"Dude..."_

Of course he cared...  
He would always, always care.

_"...That's what a best pal's for."_

That was when he and Wally began to drift apart. It happened gradually, but both would be lying if they claimed they didn't notice it begin.

Their conversations slowed down. 'Kid Mouth' stopped living up to his playful nickname that was given to him when they were still kids.

Then, all of a sudden, he quit.  
Wally quit being a hero.

That was the beginning of their relationship's end.  
The barely even talked anymore. When they did, they would try to act like they used to, but it didn't work. It wasn't the same and Dick knew it never would be. His best friend was gone. He was still Wally West, of course, and the same Wally West. But not the Wally West Dick once had known.  
He was too distant.

_"Dick, he blew up the cave!"_

And then they fought. And when they fought, it was as though what was missing had returned. Wally was worried about him. He was worried for his sake. And even when he was pushed down and yelled at by who was once his best friend, he couldn't help but feel glad that he still cared.

_"You guys almost died!"_

But, of course, the fight ended like most fights end. With both parties' stubbornness preventing talking it through and making up.  
Now, Dick sits alone with his thoughts, just like when he was a child.

And he knows it's selfish, but he wants things to be like the were before. He wants to laugh at him, and with him, and be laughed at by him. He wants to hear him calling him 'dude' once again. He wants to tease him and be teased by him. He wants to fight alongside him.  
He wants it all back.

Now, when he remembers that poster of his family, he still feels that same pain. He feels lonely and bereft. The only difference is that now, instead of seeing his family lying motionless below him, he sees red hair and freckles and a warm smile. Instead of hearing cries of horror and a loud crash as bodies hit the floor, he hears playful laughter and the exclamation of "Dude!".

Instead of wishing for his family's return, he finds himself wishing for his best friend.

_"Dude... you totally left me hanging..."_

**I've been behind with the new DC stuff, so I haven't really paid much attention to the reboot in the past. But I recently found out that Wally isn't included in the new 52 at all... That really made me sad. Plus, the latest episodes of YJ have really been bumming me out lately, and I had all these Wally/Dick feels lying around, so I just decided to get that all out of my system through writing something like this.**

**Thanks for reading.**


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